![]() Silently, I absorbed her words they were embarrassing to me, even painful, but at the same time powerful and beckoning: Expand your horizons. Or you might even decide to do something else!” I didn’t answer her and she didn’t press me to, because that’s how we were. I said, “Why?,” and she said, “To expand your horizons. When my parents decided that I should go to community college to learn secretarial skills, my mother asked me if I wanted to get a liberal-arts degree, too. Because he wanted her to do something besides frown and mumble “I don’t know” he wanted her to yell and show some feeling. It sounds bad, making fun of retarded people when you aren’t even supposed to say the word now-like “developmentally disabled” is any better? But my father did not disrespect those people, and he never would’ve even pretended to make fun of a kid like that except in the car with Donna. Mary Gaitskill on revisiting her story “Secretary.” Donna said that if she got another job she would still go and visit him. Nobody thought he ought to be there, but nobody could get him out. ![]() There were actually two kids like that, and one of them was old enough for her to have interesting conversations with. But she liked the retarded kids, some of whom were not even retarded-they were just poor and crippled and had weird parents who’d kept them locked in a room with a television for years, until social workers found them and stuck them in the state home. After dinner, sometimes she and I would go for a walk and smoke pot she’d bought from somebody at the state home, and she’d talk about how mad she was, and how she wanted to get a different job, working with animals. She didn’t have a car, so she had to wait for him at her job, at a state home for retarded kids, and if he saw her talking with any weird-looking “inmates” he would make fun of them in the car and she would be so mad that when they got home she would storm up the stairs and slam her door. I had looked forward to graduating from high school, but then all I did was eat lunch with my mom and lie around and watch “The Four O’Clock Movie.” At five, my father would come home from work with my sister, Donna. It was my first job I hadn’t yet turned eighteen. These dreams of him-and thoughts, I have also had thoughts and memories triggered by things as random as a singer’s voice or the subplot of a TV show or a movie or even a cartoon-are like a weather system passing across the distant horizon of my outermost self, but they affect the local barometric pressure and the color of the shared sky. I dreamed of him, the man from long ago, through all my previous relationships. I am alone, but I have had relationships, including a common-law marriage that just recently ended. Sometimes I go for as long as a year without having one of these dreams and I think they are gone. Even when they are affectionate and tender, the sweetness strikes a weak note amid the dominant noise and adds to my fading impression of a bewildered pain that must, for some reason, be accepted. But my dreams of him are dreams of intimacy beyond what I usually mean by “knowing.” They are erotic dreams even when they are not about sex. When I say “knew,” that is not accurate I barely knew him at all. Then, read more about your specific face shape.I dream often of a man I knew more than thirty years ago. Keep scrolling to peep our handy face-shape chart and the three best tips for identifying yours, according to our squad of aesthetic experts. So we called in our favorite MDs to help us understand the ins and outs of facial structure. While we fancy ourselves quite knowledgeable on a host of beauty topics, we knew a team of cosmetic dermatologists and surgeons would be the perfect resource for breaking down the specific steps for pinpointing your face shape quickly and accurately. ![]() It’s time to finally demystify the magic of identifying your face shape, and we’re here to help you do it. According to Tanuj Nakra, MD, board-certified cosmetic surgeon and co-founder of Avya Skincare, "The shape of our faces is a direct result of our underlying bone structure, which is based on genetics." That being said, the process of identifying your face shape certainly doesn't need to include a trip to the doctor's office. Everything from picking a hairstyle to determining the best makeup technique and even selecting the most flattering sunglasses hinges on this specific anatomical detail. Face shape is one of those physical features we might not always be actively thinking about, but it contributes to so many parts of our lives.
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